THE VANISHING/HAPPENING/SHINING/BA-NA-NA

Blog...Blog...
Yo... so this guy came on me and i was like, "man you came on me"..
Omg how should I begin this wild adventure I call my life????????
Oh I know where..
On a cold winter night of 2000 and 7, all the streets were empty and cold... leaving the sound of just the wind to pass through the empty streets of Chino Hills... I ask myself, "self, where is everyone?" but no one answered, i immediately started to panic of my life... I whispered, "Can this really be happening?"
a voice out of nowhere whispers, "Banana"
"Who's th-th-th-there?" I said in a girly but attractive voice, looking left, right.. and left again to see if she sells sea shells by the sea shore.. What?.
as i was saying i looked left, right, horizontal, diagonal, vertical, acute, and I slanted my head 90 degrees to the right but their was just me and my shadow in the empty streets of Chino Hills.
I just jizz a little
walking alone through the creepy empty street was the last thing on my mind but suddenly a voice came out of nowhere...
-"Banana", it said.
"hel_lo", my voice cracked just like George when he yells a lot...
-"Ba_na_na", it said again, but this time in a more frightening voice
I yelled out like a frightened school girl, "Whos saying that?!!" but he, she, it, whatever it was didnt seem to try and answer back.
Thinking of a way to protect myself from this this this this this this thing, i unzipped my penis i mean zipper to pull out my secret weapon.
As i was about to unzip, i heard footsteps.
they were getting closer, closer and closer, then farther and closer again.... I said to myself like a person who askes themself things,"who could be doing this?????????"
The footsteps suddenly stopped.
-Poke... Poke.
i turned around... "Oh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhittt!!!" i screamed, but luckly
no one was there.
i heard the footsteps again but this time they didnt seem to be as close... soo i ran towards the footstep, hoping this thing wasnt gonna be there... But i was wrong.
There it was... about a 40 yards away from where i was standing.
STAND AND DELIVER was an excellent movie...
I couldnt really make out what i was looking at because i forgot my glasses at my house.. I think or did I leave it at George's?? humm i need to be more careful... wait.. do i even wear glasses? oh wait im wearing them.. duhh thats why i couldnt find it. HA.
ok back on topic.. So this thing was standing about 40 yards from where i was standing, and frightened like a pussy cat, I just stood there.. haha pussy cat, thats a funny word. pussy_cat HA.
Many things were running in my mind like: What is that?, Did I step on gum? Did i leave the water running? and most importantly, Did I have that receipt, so i can return that gay porn? but thats besides the point.
"Oh no" I whispered
The thing in front of me started to walk towards me.
As it was going to walk out from the shadows and into the street light.
I unzipped my zipper and pulled out my 9 milimeter gun......you can probably guess how it died..
It tripped over a parked car and died... Horribly.
I ran to see if it needed help, but then i remembered, I did leave my water running so i ran home and turned off the water, then i ran back so i can see what this this this thing was... but it it vanished... like things that vanish.
The whole moral of the story is watch out for parked cars cause you dont know where they might pop up at.. What?
What the f**k am i writing about? HA

-Fin